


Just Come Home

by camichats



Series: Imagine James and Sirius Prompts [90]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Abuse, Abused Sirius Black, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, First Kiss, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Minor Injuries, Snogging
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-07 04:30:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18613171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Sirius's boyfriend is abusive, and James can't understand why he stays with him.





	Just Come Home

**Author's Note:**

> Please be warned! While we don't see any physical abuse on screen (as it were), Sirius does have injuries that are discussed in a possibly triggering way. His boyfriend does show up in the second half of the fic and says some insulting things, but I tried to keep it from being too bad-- bc I don't wanna write that. That being said, be prepared for demeaning language, you know what you can handle better than I do <3 Also there's a bit of cheating on the abusive guy, but I didn't tag it since it's not in the main pairing.
> 
> For the prompt: “Hiya! I’m absolutely in love with this page - I have your notifications turned on and everything😊 I’ve never really sent anything like this before so I’m not sure if there’s something else I’m supposed to say or do but could you possibly write something for when Sirius runs away? Where he shows up beaten and bloody on James’ front door in the middle of the night? And preferably have them getting together in it! Could you possibly make it long as well! Thanks!😬”

It wasn't out of the ordinary for Sirius to show up on James's doorstep, bruised and bleeding, and James viscerally hated that this was commonplace for them. "Again?" James asked, holding the door open wider so Sirius could step inside. "What does that shithead claim you did this time?" 

"Don't be ridiculous, apparently I'm so bad that he doesn't need an official reason anymore." Sirius pulled off his shoes and dropped them in place over his name on the little mat James had made back when he'd thought they were going to be living together. He kept his jacket on, which meant that there was some sort of damage to his torso. 

James sighed, closing and locking the door as many ways as he could. "Remind me why you stay with him?" 

"He likes me." 

"No, _I_  like you. He likes that you let him treat you like shit." 

"I don't _let_  him do anything," Sirius argued, a well-worn exchange by this point. 

"Then why the fuck do you stay?" 

Instead of quipping back that he couldn't possibly leave all his leather jackets behind, he shrunk into the couch. 

James paused when reaching for the first aid kit, glancing back at him. He looked so... downtrodden. Normally, despite the fact that he'd just been abused when he showed up like this, he was in something of an upbeat mood. But now he actually was upset. James grabbed the kit and hurried over without trying to make it look like he was hurrying. He didn't succeed, but it was Sirius, so he didn't say anything other than a slight tick up of one of his eyebrows. 

Sirius normally had a role in helping James take care of him, but he was still and defeated tonight. James tied back Sirius's hair and tilted his face this way and that to survey what the damage was. "It doesn't look too bad," he muttered. His eyes flickered down at Sirius's shirt. It wasn't covered with blood or anything, but that didn't mean much. Sirius's lip was split, and the blood from it had flowed to make a bit of a mess across his face. There was a bruise blooming across one cheek, and James couldn't tell just by looking, but he would bet that Sirius's scalp was tender. All in all though, that was so mild for what Sirius usually had to deal with that he wouldn't have shown up. 

"Take off your shirt." 

Sirius hugged his jacket a bit tighter around himself. 

"Si." 

He didn't budge, but he didn't fight when James curled his hands around Sirius's and gently pried them away. He was able to push the jacket off his shoulders, and that made the hunch of his shoulders all the more obvious. James took special care when taking off Sirius's shirt, afraid of what he would see. He winced at the bruises, but it didn't look like his ribs were broken-- which had happened before. 

"Well it doesn't look too bad," he said again. 

"It's on m' back," Sirius mumbled. 

James peered over his shoulder to see, then sucked in a breath. There were honest to god _welts_  on Sirius's back, long strips with a circular shape at the end that was a hundred times worse than the lines. A belt. James swallowed down the automatic reaction of 'I'm going to kill him' because he didn't think Sirius would appreciate that. He swallowed again as rage coursed through him, and made sure his hands were steady as he took care of him.  

"Why do you stay with him?" James asked again, more serious this time. It had been a rhetorical question in the past, but now he actually wanted to hear what Sirius's reason for it was. He'd done a bit of research and learned that the number one reason that abuse victims didn't leave was because they didn't have a support system. Clearly that wasn't the case here, because even ignoring James, Remus and Peter would definitely help him out. The top reason after that had to do with financials and/or children, but neither of those were a problem for obvious reasons. Mostly that Sirius never wanted kids and had a bank account completely separate from the flaming rubbish pile he called a boyfriend. 

Sirius was quiet for a minute before he answered. "You think he doesn't care about me, but he does." 

"You don't beat people you care about Sirius." James didn't understand how Sirius could possibly think that after everything that happened with his parents. "Maybe he thinks he cares about you, and let's pretend for a moment that I believe that, but that's still terrible for you, and you have to think about yourself first." 

"He-" Sirius stopped, then swallowed, clearly not going to finish what he was about to say. 

"What?" James prodded gently, rubbing lightly at Sirius's shoulders which were, thankfully, unmarred. 

"He said he'd kill himself," Sirius said quietly. "If I left him. And I know you think he's scum, but he doesn't deserve to die." 

James took a minute to process that. It was terrible of him, but his immediate reaction was that if he was hurting Sirius, he _did_  deserve to die. That was just a flash of passion though, a here-and-gone in an instant thought that left him feeling queasy. He was careful when he did reply, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "It's not your fault if he does do that. It's not up to you to keep him alive, and people threatening suicide is a classic manipulation tactic. He guilted you into staying with him, if he cared about you, don't you think that would bother him?" 

"I don't think he's bluffing," Sirius said, his voice so small James barely recognised it. 

James blinked, hands moving up to Sirius's neck to relieve the tension there. "Okay," he said slowly. "Let's assume, for the moment, that that's true. It still wouldn't be your fault." 

"'If you can stop something bad from happening and you don't, you are the evil in the world'," Sirius quoted, and James had never been more upset with himself for sharing that with Sirius when he found it. 

"That's not what it meant." 

"I disagree." He leaned into James's touch, letting out a little groan of pleasure as James's fingers worked out a knot. "Maybe you're right and he's just manipulating me, but-" 

"There's not but, Sirius. Even if he one hundred percent means it, the fact that he told you when you tried to leave means that he's manipulating you." 

Sirius quieted again. "I don't think you're being fair." 

"I'm trying to take care of you." 

"Yeah but you're in love with me." James's hands froze, but Sirius continued to talk. "You're not exactly impartial about this, and you never liked him, even before he started acting shitty. And what's worse is that he _knows_ you never liked him, so he thinks I'm choosing you over him. I mean, I _am_ , but only because he's trying to make me choose in the first place." 

"You know?" was all James managed to say. He'd had no idea that Sirius knew about his feelings, and this was definitely not the love confession he'd always dreamed he'd get in return. 

"You're not exactly subtle." 

James blushed, hands dropping to his lap so that he wasn't touching Sirius anymore. "Sorry." He moved from behind Sirius to the other seat on the sofa. 

"No that's- that's not what I meant," Sirius said, turning to look at James with a sad expression on his face. He crawled closer and settled on his knees, arms around James. 

James had meant to sit there quietly and take the rejection with grace, but he found himself asking, "Why didn't you say anything? If you knew, why'd you let me make a complete arse of myself?" 

"James," Sirius whispered, pressing a kiss to his hair. "That's not what it was." 

"I don't understand." 

"James, you... you always think so much of me. I didn't want us to get together and you realise that I'm not worth all that." 

"You're an idiot. You're worth everything you imagine I think, and so much more. I know you better than anyone, how the hell could I _ever_  be disappointed?" 

"Yeah?" 

"Of course." James tilted his head to the side to look at him, and Sirius pulled back a little to meet his gaze. "You've never been anything but extraordinary, Si. It's hard to believe you don't know that." 

"Well we did establish five seconds ago that I'm an idiot," he said with a half smile. 

"You're not _actually_  an idiot, you-" that was all James got out before Sirius was kissing him. He kissed him back, hand going to wind through his hair. They shifted so James was leaning back against the arm of the sofa and Sirius was sitting on his lap, straddling him. His other hand moved to Sirius's hip, his touch gentle but grounding. "What are we doing?" he asked, voice a quiet puff of air between their lips. 

"Snogging. Falling in love. Take your pick." 

"Those aren't exactly the same." 

"Maybe, but they're both true." 

James's breath hitched. "Sirius..." 

Sirius leaned back in, sealing their mouths together. 

"I should head back," Sirius said, some time later. 

"We can wait to get your stuff tomorrow, it's late. Hell, I can do it all by myself, you don't need to worry about it." 

Sirius frowned. "James, I'm not moving." 

"What?" 

"I'm not leaving him." 

"But you can't be-" 

"I don't want to talk about it." Sirius got off his lap and reached for his shirt, gingerly putting it back on. He was even more careful when donning his jacket, and he didn't so much as glance at James the entire time. "We still on for tea with Peter and Remus tomorrow night?" 

"...Yeah." 

Sirius nodded as he walked to the door, picking his shoes off his little place-mat and shoving them on. "See you round, Jamie." 

James watched him leave, then sighed, dropping his head back when the door closed. "What a bloody idiot," he mumbled. He'd actually thought, without any prompting from Sirius, that a few kisses meant he was going to leave his boyfriend and start living with James.  He'd gotten a love confession-- sort of-- and ran with it. No fucking wonder his personal life was a mess right now. 

* * *

Sirius showed up for the group dinner with a bruise at his grinning mouth and a ready lie about how he should know better than to get sloshed at clubs. James gulped down some water and said nothing. 

"How's Tim?" Peter asked. 

"He's good, sends his love." 

"Does he," Peter said flatly. 

Sirius paused with his drink halfway to his mouth. "Something you wanna say Pete?" 

Peter opened his mouth, but Remus elbowed him and he shut it again. "Guess not. Don't want to ruin the evening, after all." 

"That's what I thought." 

James knew his quietness was suspicious, but he didn't care. As far as he was concerned, he'd embarrassed himself horribly the night before, not to mention that Sirius was still living with someone that beat him. He wasn't _completely_  silent, but the banter that was expected was simply absent. 

Sirius got up to go to the loo, and Remus and Peter rounded on James. 

"What happened?" 

"Mind your own business Moony." 

"We're mates, your business is my business. Well, business adjacent at least, which still means you should tell us what the bloody hell is going on." 

"It's personal." 

"If it wasn't," Peter said, "then we'd already know about it, so spill your guts Potter." 

"Guys," James said, voice turning serious as opposed to the dismissive tone he'd been using before. "It's personal." 

"Personal as in you or personal as in Sirius?" 

James didn't answer, and Remus went, "Ah. _That_  kind of personal." 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means," Remus said, staring at James, "that something happened between him and Sirius, and it didn't turn out the way he wanted. The way any of us wanted, to be honest." 

"What makes you think it didn't turn out?" James asked even though it was pretty obvious. 

"Well for one," Peter said drily, "he would have shown up with you, and with a real smile instead of that plastic one. Also he would have told me that Tim was burning in hell where he belongs. But he didn't. Because they're still together, and he somehow thinks he's not worthy of you or whatever bullshit he's up to these days." 

"Does  _everyone_  know I fancy him?" 

They both nodded. "You should've seen your mum's face when we told her you weren't dating yet," Peter added. "Mighty heartbroken, she was." 

"Don't exaggerate." 

"I'm not." 

James rolled his eyes, not believing him. "Look, I'd prefer if we talk about something else now." 

"Believe it or not James, we didn't bring it up to make fun of you," Remus said. "What happened? I kinda thought that if you ever said it to Sirius's face, he'd cave." 

"How romantic," James mumbled, chugging the rest of his beer. 

"You know what I mean." 

James said nothing, because responding hadn't been going all that well for him. "I don't want Sirius to come back to this conversation. So something, anything else." 

"You don't want to give me _that_  kind of power," Peter said. 

"Right, cause you're so dangerous," Remus teased, an easy smile crossing his face, and James breathed a sigh of relief. 

At least until they heard raised voices and looked over to see none other than Tim arguing with the hostess. Sirius exited the toilet, immediately saw him, and walked over to try and calm him down. "Stay here," James told his friends as he got to his feet, making his way across the restaurant towards the hostess's podium. 

Tim was... an all around cunt. So it wasn't really surprising that he looked on the verge of getting physical in front of god and everyone, just because she was telling him that he wasn't allowed to go wandering through the restaurant aimlessly-- because he had, of course, neglected to mention the one thing that would have let him get through: he was looking for his boyfriend. By now she knew what was going on, but Tim had his temper lit and wasn't just walking out or apologising like a reasonable person would. 

Sirius was tugging on his sleeve, trying to talk some sense into him. Needless to say, it wasn't working. 

"Is there a problem?" James asked, careful to keep his voice neutral. It didn't help anything. Cause Tim's an arse. 

He sneered at James. 

Now James wasn't entirely sure the exact phrasing of what he said about Sirius because Tim mumbled, but it made him see red. "Don't talk about him like that." 

"He's a bitch that can't keep it in his trousers--" 

And that's how James got kicked out of a restaurant and ended up in jail with bruised knuckles. It was a little embarrassing since he hadn't been thrown in jail since he turned twenty three, but he was completely unrepentant. They had enough sense to put him and Tim in different cells, and he was a little confused as to why Tim was arrested at all. He'd been a little out of it at the time, basically just trying to not lose his temper anymore than he already had and get in trouble for accidentally assaulting an officer. 

Tim's face was becoming unrecognizable, and James took a demented sort of glee in that, even as he tried not to look at him too often. Mostly James sat there, arms crossed over his chest and head resting against the wall behind him. Everyone else in the room was just as content to ignore them. 

They all looked towards the door when it opened, and an officer entered, followed by Sirius. Tim shot James a victorious look, and James rolled his eyes. If Sirius was here, James was getting out. He was probably here for Tim as well which was a shame, but James could understand that, since they were living together. 'Understand' as in he knew that it would make sense, not that he liked it or agreed with it. 

The door to James's cell opened, and the officer pointed at him. "You, come on." 

James got to his feet, accepting his wallet and keys when Sirius handed them over. The officer started to leave without going to let Tim out, something the steaming pustule obviously noticed. "Wait!" 

They paused, as a group, and turned to look at him out of habit. 

"Sirius, are you really not going to get me out? I'm your _boyfriend_." 

Sirius snorted. "No, you're an ex that can go to hell. By the time you're out, all my things will be gone." 

Tim started to say something, but it wasn't going to be anything good, so James grabbed Sirius's hand and hurried them out of there. James didn't say anything until they were out of the station other than, "Thanks for bailing me out." 

"Yeah no problem." 

James turned to Sirius in the mostly empty parking lot. "Since when did you break up with him?" 

"You just saw it," Sirius said, giving James a half-smile. 

"Are you serious?" 

His face widened into a grin. "Always." 

"Well- shit we have to go get your stuff, they're not going to leave him in there more than one night." 

"That's all you have to say about it?" 

"I-" James glanced at Sirius out of the corner of his eye. "Well I didn't want to assume." 

Sirius laughed, shaking his head. The purple of the bruise on his face looked colorful under the streetlight, and James's heart swelled with the knowledge that this was the absolute last time he'd have to see Sirius like that. 

"Are you going to find your own place or are you staying with me?" James had meant to present it like he thought both ideas were great options, but he knew that that was _not_  how it came across. 

It didn't matter though, because Sirius slung an arm over his shoulders and pressed a kiss to his cheek as he steered them towards his car. "With you, of course. If you'll have me." 

"Of course I will, don't be ridiculous." 

There was a pause as they got into the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "Just so I know, are we talking normal flatmates or... boyfriends?" 

"I guess that's up to you. We both know what I want." 

"My choice?" Sirius asked. 

"Yeah." 

"Then boyfriends." 

"I would kiss you, but you're driving." 

"I appreciate your restraint," Sirius said, amused. 

James got out his phone and texted Remus and Peter, letting them know what was up-- and kinda demanding their help. "You should since we're not going to be able to do anything until we have all your things." 

"Nonsense," Sirius said, then didn't elaborate on what that meant for the rest of the drive. James found out what he meant though, when they pulled into the flat's lot and he parked, then leaned over and kissed him in a way that made James's stomach flop pleasantly. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt driven blog @[imaginejamesandsirius](https://imaginejamesandsirius.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Feel free to drop by!


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